Amethyst & Spiders - A Letter Of Strength & Resilience
A few weeks ago I connected with Tor Lydon, a wonderful up and coming Irish Poet, currently residing in Philadelphia. (You can read her work on instagram @salmon.street)
In the lead up to the shoot, Tor had mentioned how excited/anxious she was because it was her first photo shoot since entering recovery for an eating disorder. Putting herself back in front of the camera was a true test of the strength & resilience which she has gained in the last year. A few days after receiving the finished photos, I received this email from Tor, which I present here unedited and unaltered, with her full permission
“Mike,
First, let me start off by apologizing for this taking so long to get to you.
I had mentioned that I was having a “bad day” of sorts…
I think when I looked at these on my computer screen at work, blown up and in perfect quality… I panicked. I have learned, or rather, am learning, to love the body I’m in right now. One that allows food to fuel it. Seeing myself though, I automatically started with the negative self talk and panicked. I could not believe I allowed myself to look this way.
That being said, instead of falling into a relapse I reached out to my mom, who came down and spent the night with me to make sure I was OK, and booked a session with my therapist for this morning.
When I was there this morning, in the office I have been in countless times, I noticed something on the windowsill.
A spider.
I remembered it’s significance to you and realized it was a sign that this body I am, these photos I took with you, are perfect the way they are. I believe in the universe and I believe the universe had our paths cross so that I could learn a little bit about self love from you and your art.
I sat down just now again with the photos, and I saw them in a new light. Without disorder stained eyes.
I’m not totally yet there so obviously there are some I do not love haha… But attached are the images I love. The ones I will be posting as well, as they are, unsmoothed skin , swollen cheeks and all. (Bulimics develop oversized glans on their jaw bones that never go away and can’t be surgically removed, a now forever reminder but one I am going to try and start wearing with pride.)
I just sent you the ones that are in color, but obviously you can use there B&W versions also.
I know this was lengthy, but I just wanted to give an explanation and also thank you for the small impact you’ve made on my life in a short time.
Spiders & Amethyst,”
